11-months into Mission ...

I think it's been 6-months since I last updated our blog. While I've written a few newsletters for Maryknoll - things picked up after language school and I found myself neck-deep in mission. Which is why we're here, so no complaining. But I definitely had to continue to work through culture shock and adjusting to East Africa, while at the same time trying to find my place in a new ministry. Energy for writing a new blog just wasn't there. And in fact, I can still say that if there is one thing I notice more than anything about the difference between "before mission" and now is that I'm tired a lot. A LOT. I sleep 9-hours a night but still feel tired much of the time. I'm guessing a good part of it is me still adjusting to a new culture - as well as learning to take in a myriad of experiences and situations on a daily basis that are not a part of "normal" back in the US. Something as simple as taking our dogs on a walk in the morning can lead to a stranger showing me his severely infected leg and asking for money to go to the hospital. A simple meeting at Huruma School with a teacher might end in me finding out there is student having uncontrolled seizures at home and I find myself scheduling a home visit and spending the day at the doctor's office. Even a simple trip to the market requires me to use Swahili - a language I am slowly learning but have to really concentrate on when listening and speaking it. Very little here feels routine or "normal" when compared to what I would experience back home on a regular basis. Maybe after more time it would become my new "normal" and I wouldn't feel as tired at the end of each day. But for now, I am still learning to live in a very different reality than the one I came from 11-months ago. 

Time here at times has stood still and there were days that were simply long and hot and I just wanted to pack my suitcases and go home. Other days have been filled with beauty and awe and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be doing what we are. Many days are somewhere in between. I miss home and I miss family - but I'm also finding a routine and rhythm in Tanzania that works for our family. We've adopted a few animals: one very sweet kitten (she waltzed onto our property one day and was scooped up by Josephine and Charlotte) and 2 dogs (Binti - whom I wrote about earlier in the year, and Soldier - a street dog we rescued a few months ago). Animals always give a strong sense of "family" for us and having them become a part of our life has helped all of us feel a little bit more "home". We enjoy their playfulness and unconditional loyalty/love.

Everywhere you look in Tanzania there are basic needs not being met - so it's easy to feel overwhelmed and hard to say no. One takeaway from that is that I'm having to recognize I can't (and shouldn't) say yes to everything - and I'm having to really think about what gift and talents God has given me, as well what it is that really brings me joy when I'm doing it. It seems like an easy question to ask oneself, but I find that the answers often get clouded with "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" - as well as expectations of co-workers, employers, family, and friends. Pulling back and really trying to figure how I can best contribute to the needs of the world and what it is I love to do is a gift that Africa is giving me. I think it is one of those things that will stay with me for life and follow me where I go. 

Currently, I'm finding myself over and over in a position to give a voice to those whose voices are not being heard. Whether it is the children at Huruma School, impoverished parents of those students who are ignored and "invisible" in the eyes of the healthcare system, or a starving street dog in the middle of the road - I am finding telling their stories and giving them a voice is profoundly rewarding. Helping them to be seen by the world, allowing them a chance to tell their story (even if only through photographs or a blogpost) - it is powerful. With many of our children at Huruma School, you can see the pride these parents have when told that their child matters and that they deserve a chance to see the doctors and receive medication. They are used to being invisible. Kyle teases me that our rescue dog Soldier has an unhealthy attachment to me. I remind him that I was probably the first person Soldier ever knew that reached out to pet him and touch him with love. It's about being seen. And being heard. And I happen to be in a position where I can help facilitate that.  

And so here we are, 11-months in and counting. In just another month, we will have called East Africa our home for 1-year. The cliche is probably true that Tanzania has given me more than I've given to Tanzania. I didn't expect anything different. As we kept being told back in New York at the Maryknoll campus: mission changes you. It does. I like to think for the better. But I also hope that we've giving a little bit back - and that we will continue to. Not just while in Africa - but for a lifetime. Even if it's something as simple as giving a platform for voices that are not heard - to be heard.